The biggest non-events of 2003
Yes it’s that time - time to run and hide from anything that starts out “2003:"… Well you can’t escape it here, folks. So here we go:
2003: A Year in Review
The Year’s Greatest Non-Events
1. Wesley Clark’s run for the presidency - As hyped as much as Madonna’s lesbian kiss with Brittany (it’s not the girl on girl action that turns our stomachs; it’s the 25 year age difference. BS may as well as been frenching her mom… EEeeww…) this was one of the year’s greatest non-events. A grassroots “Draft Clark” movement. A “Democrat” with some military experience (albeit in retrospect - the wrong kind of experience ie almost starting World War 3 with the Russians in Kosovo) - yet as we write this guy’s odds at being president are up there with Rob Schneider’s. He’s pulled out of New Hampshire. He’s pulled out of Iowa. What’s left? New Springfield?
2. Saddam’s Weapons of Mass Destruction - One of the reasons that Saddam posed a threat to his neighbors, the WMD program was (thankfully) one of 2003’s non-events. While Democrats and Leftists wet their pants with glee as each passing day shows no sign of these, Saddam is evidently the one with Sarin on his face. His own scientists made him believe that he had something that he didn’t. Given Saddam’s past use of these weapons on civilians - this is a very good thing indeed.
3. Iraqi resistance to invasion - Saddam’s call to turn every inch of Iraq into Mogadishu resulted in a world record routing of an army. While the insurgency still burns, it is nothing along the scale that Saddam and his apologists on the Left had hoped and preyed for.
4. The Uprising of the Arab Street - America’s invasion of Iraq was supposed to cause this. Instead the street’s gotten really quiet these days as the Middle Eastern nations begin policing it.
5. The Hulk. Big green guy runs around and destroys everything. A Marine does it so much better.
6. The 2003-04 network prime time lineup. Name one new show that you watched. Can’t? You were too busy watching MXC on SpikeTV too, huh?
7. Chicago Cubs win the pennant! Not in a hundred years…
8. Stop The War/Not in my Name/"your anti-American slogan here” protests. Nothing like rich folks protesting about a war they don’t have to fight.
9. Al-Qaeda Follow-up attacks: Bring it on you dickless pussies.
10. Jobs. Yeah the economy sure is booming - in India…
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