LIBERATION!

Welcome back to civilization guys

Is it too early to celebrate? Maybe but let's party anyway! And while we do so, let's take a moment to look at the winners and losers of this conflict. Party on dudes!!!

Winners:

The Iraqi peoples - Shi'a, Kurds and yes even Sunnis. While we at The Razor believe that the breakup of Iraq is ultimately in the best interest of these peoples, now is not the time to do it. Instead the rebuilding of Iraq including the reconstruction of the emotional lives of those who have suffered under the Baathist regime should come first. Nevertheless the mechanism for breakup should be built into the system: perhaps a federation of three states along with a referendum option.

The Iranian people - The youth of Iran have pretty much learned that America isn't the enemy. Now perhaps the other age groups will too.

Donald Rumsfeld - In the wilderness since the Ford administration, the war has proven once and for all that you are truly a visionary and the finest Secretary of Defense seen in generations.

Condoleeza Rice - Out kissingered Kissinger, who'd have thought that this little waif of a woman would have the mind of Talleyrand and the teeth of a shark.

President George Bush - your enemies continue to underestimate you, but at their peril. While you may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, you are much more intelligent than your adversaries. Better yet, you have the ability to surround yourself with men and women who are smarter than you are - a true leader. Now PLEASE FOCUS ON THE ECONOMY, OKAY?

Tony Blair - The British don't realize what they have. Care to visit Westminster College and accurately predict the future?

Losers:

The United Nations - Chirac pressed the self-destruct button the moment he stated that France would veto any resolution that authorized force. Add to this the fact that American demands for Libya to be prevented from chairing the UN Human Rights Commission were ignored and the whole institution is shown for what it is: an anti-American, anti-Israeli debating society. Sorry, we can get one of those at Princeton for a fraction of the cost.

Syria - Bashir Assad had the chance to show that he wasn't just some spoiled demogogue's bratty spawn when he took power after Haffez Assad died. Unfortunately, his behavior in the years since has shown that he's worse than his father. The Old Man at least entertained the idea of peace with Israel - apparently wanting to leave a legacy behind that had something to it besides torturing and killing Arabs and Palestinians. Bashir seems intent on going the Kim jong-il route by drawing a big fat bull's eye on his head and daring America to shoot it.

Saddam's Useful Idiots (Cheryl Crow, Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon, Michael Moore, etc) - Will you watch the West Wing now? Listen to Cheryl Crow's annoyingly vacuous songs? Bear Michael Moore's uninspired rants? I didn't think so. This group of people has proven that their knowledge of foreign policy and the world around them is shallower than their pathetic Hollywood lives. While they aren't important enough to have done serious damage to the coalition effort to oust Saddam, their comments and behavior did lend comfort to the enemy of both the American military and the Iraqi peoples. We won't wait for the apologies, we'll do something better: not buy the next Dixie Chick's release.

Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, other NGO's that pandered to their anti-American membership instead of standing up for their principles - Some of us at The Razor have supported these organizations in the past, but no longer. We suggest that they follow our recommendations for Medicine Sans Frontier given here. And if the Taliban can't cough up dough, there are still Baathists in Syria, corrupt ayatollahs in Iran, and nutcases in North Korea who can fund you.

The Left - Here you had a war against an enemy that everyone hated and yet you managed to blow it. Your naive philosophies have blinded you to the reality that yes, things aren't always black and white - but sometimes they are. Saddam was evil by anyone's estimation except possibly in the view of his spawn - Qusay and Oday. Yet you blinded yourselves to this reality and let down the very people you claim to champion. People dropped in woodchippers. Children tortured in front of their parents. Rape rooms. Children's prisons. What the hell were you thinking?

Think you'll get away with it? Think again (photo thanks to ColdFury):

The French - What can we at The Razor say but that we hate you (seriously) and are happy to see you sweat. We wonder what we're going to find now in Iraq that proves your treachery, but rest assured we are going to find it. You betrayed us when we needed you, and we will never forget this. We have reaped in blood what you have sown with your arrogance and deceit. You are partially responsible for every American and Iraqi life that has been lost in this conflict. Your love affair with dictators is borderline pathological and a threat - albeit a mild one - to every freedom loving person on the planet.

You are a pathetic, weak minded people who speak a dying language. Your women stink and your food sucks, as does your wine, music and cinema. Your future is in the footnotes of history, not in the chapters themselves. THIS IS THROUGH YOUR CHOICE. You have chosen to lay in bed with mass murderers and will not be able to scrub off the stench. On to hell you cheese eating surrender monkeys.

(EDs: Gee Nic, tell us how you really feel about the French...)