Bush Derangement Syndrome
See below for warnings and contraindications.
REALITY is indicated for the treatment of depressive episodes in Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS); acute manic episodes in Bush Derangement Syndrome (BDS); and acute fear and/or hatred of elephants, the color red, the letters “g” “o” “p”, Fox News, and other symbols of the Republican Party.
Elderly patients with dementia-related psychosis (having lost touch with reality and voted for the Green Party in 2000/04 elections due to confusion and memory loss caused by bad acid in the 1960s) treated with this type of medicine are at an increased risk of death compared to placebo (sugar pill).
REALITY is not approved for treating these patients.
Antidepressants have increased the risk of suicidal thoughts and actions in children and teenagers. All patients starting treatment should be watched closely for worsening of depression, suicidal thoughts or actions not caused by listening to Green Day or Slipknot, unusual changes in behavior, agitation, and irritability. Families and caregivers should watch patients daily and report these symptoms immediately to their physician. REALITY is not approved for patients under the age of 18.
A rare, but potentially fatal side effect reported with REALITY and medicines like it, is apathy. Tell your doctor if you have don’t give a crap, damn or flying f*** about anything or anyone – or if you have a flaccid penis; shaking; confusion; sweating; changes in pulse, heart rate, or blood pressure; or muscle pain and weakness because treatment should be stopped. There is no known treatment for apathy, but it may go away partially or completely if treatment is stopped.
Since drowsiness has been reported with REALITY, you should not participate in activities such as voting or operating machinery until you know that you can do so safely. Avoid drinking alcohol while taking REALITY because it increases the effects of alcohol. Avoid becoming overheated or dehydrated while taking REALITY.
The most common side effects are dry mouth, drowsiness, sedation, dizziness, weakness, constipation, abdominal pain, sudden drop in blood pressure when standing, pronouncing “nuclear” as “nuke-u-lar”, weight gain, abnormal liver tests, upset stomach, lethargy, and a simmering lust for Ann Coulter and/or Sean Hannity.
George McGovern, Still Amazingly Wrong After All These Years : The Sundries Shack:
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6 January 2008, 10:08 pm