I Hate Losing
I hate losing. While I consider myself a loner and tend to avoid conflict as much as possible, the truth is that when conflict is unavoidable, I get vicious. When I compete, I not only want to win – I want my opponent to lose. I want him to lose so badly that he will be spoken about with shame for generations to come within his family. It is a primal desire that has more in common with the Ancients who tore out the hearts of their foes on the battlefield and devoured them.
I want to win, and when I don’t, it takes days – weeks – sometimes months to regain my footing. I don’t like to lose – so I avoid the conflict altogether. The problem of course becomes when you avoid the opportunity to win for fear of losing. As I get older I realize that I’ve missed many opportunities because of that tendency, although I’ve become much more daring in recent years than in the distant past.
I lost in Tuesday’s election – although several of my candidates (Joe Lieberman, Jim Webb, Mike Castle) won. It’s not good enough when my opponents – Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi and the Mainstream Media – failed to lose, even though I consider Dennis Hastert and the Republican leadership soul-less weasels.
In order to enjoy the fruits of victory, one must taste the bitterness of defeat. I’m not avoiding going to avoid it. I will allow some time to revel in it, and then I will tire of it and move on.
In the meantime, I am not a pleasant person to be around.
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