Man Revises Himself on Hotness Scale to Appear More Attractive
Following the Commerce Department’s revision of GDP numbers, Nathan “Nate” Silvers, an IT project manager from Mount Holly, New Jersey announced today on his Facebook page that he was revising his looks on the hotness scale from a previously reported “6” to “8”. “This is all about keeping my appearance up to date and relevant,” the divorced father of two said in a post to his 384 friends.
In addition Silvers took steps to revise his looks numbers all the way back to when he began dating his sophomore year of high school. The figures show he was more attractive during his divorce than his wife at the time reported. “That castrating bitch told me I was a ‘4’,” he said, referring to Jeanine Harris, his wife of 11 years. “But these numbers prove that I was a ‘7’.”
However they do show that he was not as hot as he thought he was during his “metal phase” in the early 1990’s after he revised himself down from a previously taken for granted score of “9” to a “6”. Silvers believes this was due to the over-emphasis of hair on the previous score, something the balding Silvers no longer believes is relevant, while under-emphasizing his earnings potential. “Chicks like-a da moola,” Silvers quipped, “And the revisions reflect this reality.” Silvers earns “almost six figures” as a contractor for a large financial institution and credits the wage as making up for the hairloss.
Nathan “8 out of 10” Silvers
Although the data revisions offer a slightly recalibrated view of Silvers in recent years, the findings do not change the overall picture.
“Despite the conceptual changes, Nate hasn’t really rewritten his history,” said Brian Vinton, a long time friend of both Silvers and his ex-wife Harris, pointing to the consistent scoring of his looks and very little revisions over the span of Silvers’s history.
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