If Michael Moore Had Guts…

Following through with his promise, director Michael Moore has announced that he is in the planning stages for a sequel to his smash hit Fahrenheit 9/11. Appearing backstage at the American Music Awards, the famed director and outspoken Bush critic told Variety.

“After Theo Van Gogh’s death at the hands of an Islamic extremist in Amsterdam, I decided to put my money where my mouth is and prove to my critics that I’ve got the gut to take on Islamic fundamentalists.”

Moore says that he is in the planning stages of a documentary that takes a critical look at Islam, tentatively titled “Submission” – the literal translation of the word “Islam” into English.

“Instead of documenting supposed attacks on human rights, I am going to show what has been happening throughout the Islamic world for the past 30 years.” He paused as Anna Nicole Smith fell into him, then rebounded back into the crowd. “Did you know that people today have fewer human rights in the Islamic world than they did back then?

It’s startling, and the public needs to learn about the lack of freedom of religion and basic human rights for women in most of the Islamic world. The stoning to death of women in public. The public execution of gays under the Taliban. The book burnings in Cairo, and a virulent anti-semitism that breeds homicide bombers throughout the region. The threats against freedom of expression experienced by Salman Rushdie and any other writer that attempts to show the reality behind the religion. Van Gogh attempted to expose these truths and paid for it with his life. The least I can do is spend the millions I’ve made attacking the Bush administration to promote basic human rights around the world for everyone – regardless of religion.”

“The bottom line is that people do not have a right to oppression,” the director added. “Human rights are universal regardless of whether you are a Jew, Christian, or an atheist like me. My God, did you realize that all music is banned in some areas? Not just bands like Green Day – but all music – and singing too? Hell, kids couldn’t even fly kites in Kabul until city was lib… I mean occupied by the US.”

When asked about whether he fears for his safety, the director scoffed. “If I can survive Christian Fundamentalists, what do I have to fear from a few Islamic radicals? Fundamentalists are the same everywhere.”

Production is expected to wrap up this summer and Moore hopes the film will hit the theaters by the end of Ramadan 2005.

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