Joanna: Put Down the Cross, Put On Some Clothes and Adopt an Animal
I had planned on writing something a bit more political about supermodel Joanna Krupa donning a pair of wings and hiding her naughty bits behind a large silver crucifix in a billboard ad for PETA. My first thought was that it’s safe to piss off Christians. Had she held a Koran or one of the Mohammed cartoons she would have had to join Salman Rushdie in hiding or risk being hit by a homicide bomber at her next catwalk.

I then wondered how many rescued animals she cared for. We currently care for 13 dogs and cats – all rescues and most acquired this year. Each has a story.
- “June”* was found in a dumpster in Japan still attached to the placenta. She likes drinking water straight from the tap and is the eldest of our crew. She survived the parvo virus while we were still in Japan. The Japanese vet even came to our small apartment to attend to her.
- “Betelgeuse” was a black cat abused by teens who likes to be brushed and is a fierce mouser. Last year we had to have one of his canine teeth removed after it became abscessed – for $700. I guess one mouse didn’t go down without a fight.
- “Killer” our chihuhua is 13 years old and suffers from epilepsy. I have to give him phenobarbital twice a day wrapped up in a slice of pepperoni. He is fiercely loyal to our family and taught me to appreciate this unique breed of dog.
- “Lady” is a 3 year old black lab mix who is one of the fastest dogs I have ever seen. She is also one of the most gentle, although she doesn’t like being disturbed once she has staked out her place on the bed.
- “Bella” is a complete mutt who ran up our driveway here in North Carolina. She loves stretching out on her back next to you on the couch. She also enjoys chasing deer and playing with the kittens.
- Four of our six kittens were born last May when the Kid brought home a pregnant stray into our pro-life home. “Cow” has a thick tail and loves sleeping beside the Wife. He was the last one born.
- “Chirp” is all black with white whiskers and has a meow that sounds like a cricket.
- “Sinatra” is black with a tuxedo pattern. He thinks he is a dog and saddles up to Lady and Bella more than people.
- “Siouxie” is all black and likes to lay beside me and nibble on my fingers while I’m reading.
- Then there is “Baby”, a 12 week old Siamese who somehow crossed several acres of coyote infested open farmland and woodland to meow outside our bedroom window. It was love at first sight, and he’s sitting here watching me type. I’ve always had a soft spot for Siamese since my sister had one when I was a kid.
- “Tortie” is a tortoiseshell we picked up from an elderly couple along with the following two feral cats. She was originally wild but showed a pleasant demeanor when being fed. So one day we brought her in to join the crew. Her fur isn’t the best colored – looking like a box of crayons melted together – but it is soft.
- Kitten #1 is the sister of Tortie but is completely wild.
- Kitten #2 is a long-hair who lives with Kitten #1 in a shed. I had to put him inside a cinder block to hold him while treating an eye infection. The infection cleared up – and he’s outgrown the cinder block.
All of these animals have been spayed, neutered or are in the process of being so. All are fed, watered, housed and taken to the vet when sick. All are up to date on their shots. Even Kitten#1 has been to see the vet because all three ferals were sick and needed medicine. Only “Tortie” chose to be domesticated.
Compared to all the work I do for my creatures, holding a cross in front of my naked body would be much easier. Try cleaning up bloody diarrhea first thing in the morning – after you’ve stepped in it. Or how about holding your pet while he’s having a seizure, whispering to him and stroking him as he stiffens and convulses at 3am. She could afford the vet bills much easier than most – including us.
But we chose this path. In fact it’s one of the reasons we chose this house. As a very young child I dreamed about having a lot of land where I could let all the cats and dogs needing a home live out their days in peace. We’ve made that dream a reality – at least for these 13 animals.
So Joanna, put down the cross, put on some clothes and adopt a homeless animal or dozen. While I agree with PETA’s message, I don’t like it’s methods and would rather see it do fewer theatrics and more actions to find homes for homeless animals.
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*All names have been changed to avoid putting TMI on the Internet.

Jay Horsecow:
Well said my friend. Well said.
3 December 2009, 8:51 ammary lou davidson:
Thank you for the love and shelter you provide for your precious 13 animals. Would that more people would value little animals that are so vulnerable and trying to just find their way in this world. Happy holidays to you and your fur family!
4 December 2009, 8:19 am