Abuse of the System Part 2

November 1st, 2004 by Administrator

A month ago I wrote about a close family member’s struggle with alcoholism and divorce here. Here is an update.

One more month of sobriety, and the effects of not poisoning herself are beginning to show on my sister-in-law. Her mind has become sharper. She sounds like a completely different person on the phone and in person. She has also spent more time with the Wife in the past month than she has cumulatively over 25 years. Wife is playing the role of an AA sponsor by helping her become more independent, doing her steps, and facing reality. The reality she is facing isn’t pretty.

Earlier in the month, the charges of assault with a deadly glass of water - were dropped - lucky for the State of Delaware and the peace of mind of our ruling governor. Girly Man came to the court with a stack of papers prepared to make the state’s case, but the State wisely threw it out instead.

However the PFA still stands. Evidently this is how things work nowadays, according to a psychologist I know who counsels married couples. When a marriage is falling apart, one party will call the police and accuse the other of some kind of transgression in order to get a PFA. The PFA is granted without evidence or hearing, and the other party is completely barred from his/her own residence even when the accusing party isn’t there.

Consequently, my sister-in-law has been unable to enter her own house to get her own clothes. The only clothes she has are the ones purchased for her by her parents, or brought to her by her own children.

The PFA lasts for a year, and can be renewed. It can only be withdrawn through a formal petition to the court. According to the psychologist I spoke to, this is now the norm. People are abusing a law set up to protect victims of serious spousal abuse in order to pretty much remove the other party in a marriage from their lives. It’s a cheap and effective way of pretty much ruining your spouse’s life. This is divorce, after all.

Girly Man’s mistress has pretty much moved in to my sister-in-law’s house.

Throughout all of this, Sister-in-law remains sober. She doesn’t understand how powerful she is becoming by staying so and surviving this hellish reality.

Why do I care?

Because I like seeing good guys win. I like seeing bad guys lose. I want people to survive, triumph over adversity, and come back strong. In movies I never cheer for the villain; instead I cheer for his victim who survives and vanquishes him in the end. There is enough evil in the world, and contrary to what Taoists preach, there is no balance.

Usually Evil triumphs. Evil is the norm, Good the exception.

I have always been the underdog in fights, and in Life Good is the underdog. What is happening in my family is but one injustice in a world full of injustice. So I fight the injustices whenever I can, and cheer on those who do the same.

Sister-in-law is at war with herself, her addiction, her husband, and the State of Delaware. She deserves our support.

Posted in Alcoholism

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