my sincere apologies:)

Barnabas Elisha Waweru:
I came not to bury Emilio Mwai Kibaki but to praise him, or whatever Shakespeare would say.
The Rt. Hon Kibaki comes from a family of clairvoyants. His father, Mzee Kibaki, was already dreaming about the web and e-mail when his son was born. In his absent mindedness, he named him E-mailio. But when it was to be registered, the ignorant local priest of the Kiambu Church, Rev. Smith, misunderstood it and he mis-spelled it to E-milio, thinking perhaps that Mzee Kibaki was planning a large family (a-million). The name stuck.
Emilio showed great intellectual promise in many subjects at an early age, except for languages and public speaking. But you could not hold this against him as even Winston Churchill had difficulty with Latin at Harrow School. At Makerere University, where young Emilio became a Professor of Economics, he normally got someone to write his lectures, in line with modern economic thought of the division of labour. This has already shown the astuteness of a budding politician, in which trade most speeches are written by others, only to be read to the ignorant very slowly, a habit which he retains even today.
Engaged most of the time in deep intellectual thought, Emilio never managed to find time to develop certain human attributes, such as courage and some nasty people took advantage of this and started calling him “General Kiguoyo.” Such a reference is normally aimed by Kikuyus to persons who prefer to retaliate from the shadows, finding people, who will do the act for them, after making impeccable plans how to do it. Again the name stuck and most websites unkindly refer to him by that name. But being courageous is only for fools and not for those with strong instincts for survival and today the jobless Mungiki sect can be used for such a service for peanuts.
Unfortunately, in more recent years, the lack of his linguistic ability became more apparent. For example, he chose the banana as a symbol for his party, the PNU (pronounced as Pee oN U). Though the banana is a tasty and nutritious fruit, it has two unfortunate characteristics, it is bent and it is yellow. He cannot be blamed for such oversight, just because in the language of the colonialists “yellow” refers to someone who is a coward. It is neither the banana’s nor Emilio’s fault.
Then some nasty people unkindly took the banana business too far. They said that his government should not be called that of Mwai Kibaki’s, instead it should be referred to as the MWABATI government. I always thought that they meant that he had a wide popular support among poor Kenyans, many who live in houses made of corrugated iron, called mabati. But one day I was enlightened by a despicable person, who said: ”Barni, you are a pumbavu (fool), like most other Kenyans, according to Bw. Kibaki. (I do not hold it against him, as if you are a Professor, particularly with the title of “emeritus”, whatever that means, you have to uphold intellectual superiority). What it means is that his party is so bent that it is corrugated”. In fact he used the word “karuagated”. It took me some time to figure it out that he may have referred to that fine lady Martha Karua, his Minister of Justice with some other offices and titles, which I do not remember.
Now, I am an ardent admirer of Martha Karua. She is an intelligent, brave, quick-witted, attractive woman, who would make a great First Lady, giving political and speech-writing support to President Kibaki on his travels to some distant conference, just to keep out of all those nasty political upheavals at home, which could be left to the GSU to sort out, by shooting a few thousand people. This change of tasks should not be difficult, as one of his wives, who calls herself “First Lady Lucy Kibaki”, after face slapping many rude dignitories in the past, decided to have a rest in the State House and as a good farmer, to tend her chicken and goats. Lucy and Martha are good friends and they normally decide between them what should Emilio do.
In fact, I am very concerned about Miss Karua. I saw a photo of her during the recent Annan negotiations. She looked twice her 42 years, worn and sick. It is not worth loosing your beauty just to sit around a table and talk endlessly about agreements, which would be approved by most of the people, but you have no intention to keep to them, once they are signed. I am also concerned about that blind bishop (not sure if he is catholic) who is said to be her lover. He may not find her attractive anymore in her run down state, sacrificing herself for the state. Poor woman, recently an ex British High Commissioner had the audacity of taking the mickey out of her in a televised program called “Hardtalk”. In her usual way she tried to deliver an angry verbal knock out, whilst her opponent, Sir Edward, remained cheerful and cool as a cucumber and got her at every blow. Very ungentlemanly.
I also feel that Bw. Michuki and Miss Karua, being patriotic Kenyans, have a right of criticising Kenya’s colonial past. Some uninformed people maintain that when the Brits marched in, they only found bush and 100 years later they left a country with a functioning uncorrupt government, roads, railway, telephone, industry, agriculture which could feed everyone and functioning civic institutions, an army, an efficient non corrupt police force, a booming tourist industry, well-run cities and towns, water and electricity supplies which worked, hospitals, schools, a skilled workforce, an almost uneventful public security etc. Some white bean counters even have the audacity to try to attach a tag of price difference between their coming and going and they say that few of those colonialists or their government walked away with any wealth after they left the country. They were of course simpletons, ignorant of economics, inflation, the joys of nyama choma, big houses, Mercedes motorcars, etc. In fact the successive governments after independence were much more efficient than the Brits. It only took them less than 50 years to undo everything.
I think it is fair to give them a mouthful. But most of our people blame them only from hearsay. To be fair, logical and pc, we should find an all purpose scapegoat. We should also be careful as if we upset them, they may club up with other white people against us and we may find that the billions of foreign aid, which would be useful for buying private overseas properties and bagatelles such as farms, Pajeros and Lexuses by our politicians, civil servants etc, if handed to our government, may dry up. In spite of being right, we need to be diplomatic. I suggest that when our government makes the usual complete screw-up of something, we should say “It was the hand of the enemy” and that could be anybody, but our leaders still could justify their mistakes to the wananchi.
The other day on the radio one of the opposition’s spokesman said that the Right.Hon. Kibaki cannot be trusted as he never keeps his word. This is the type of people whom you find among the opposition: totally illogical. How can you be called the “right honorary” and accused of not keeping your word?
We should uphold our traditional African values of respecting age. We must not keep blaming a sick old man. The Right Hon. Kibaki is 77. His health and faculties are failing, his customary punishment is meted out to him at home every day. Yet, in spite of all that, he carries on regardless, as he always did. Let us be generous and forgiving, as he may not have much time left. Let it be in the next world for him to pay the uttermost farthing, if by some remote chance, he has done something wrong in this one.
17 February 2008, 3:49 am

He comes from a family of clairvoyants. His father, Mzee Kibaki was dreaming about the web and e-mail when his son was born, so he named him E-mailio. But when it was registered, the ignorant local priest Rev. Smith, did not understand it and he mis-spelled it as E-milio, thinking perhaps that Mzee Kibaki was planning a large family (a-million). The name stuck.

Emilio showed great intellectual promise in many subjects at an early age, except for languages and public speaking. At Makerere University, where he was a professor of economics, he normally got someone to write his lectures, in line with modern economic thought of the division of labour. This has already shown the astuteness of a budding politician, in which trade most speeches are written by others, only to be read to the ignorant wananchi, very slowly.

Engaged most of the time in deep intellectual activities, Emilio never managed to find time for developing certain human attributes, such as courage and some people started calling him “General Kiguoyo.” Such an unkind reference is normally aimed by Kikuyus to a person who prefers to retaliate from the shadows, finding people who will do the act for him, after making impeccable plans how to do it. Again the name stuck and most websites unkindly refer to him by that name. But being courageous is only for fools and not for those with strong instincts for survival.

In more recent years, the lack of his linguistic ability became more apparent. For example he chose the banana as a symbol for his party, the PNU (pronounced as Pee On U). Though the banana is a tasty and nutritious fruit, it has two unfortunate charactersistics, it is bent and it is yellow. He cannot be blamed for such oversight just because in the language of the colonialists “yellow” refers to someone who is a coward. It is their fault.

Then some nasty people have unkindly took the banana business too far. They said that his party should not be called Mwai Kibaki’s party, but MWABATI party. I always thought that it referred to the fact that he had a wide popular support among poor Kenyans, many who live in houses made of corrugated iron, called mabati. But one day I was enlightened by a dispicable person, who said: ” Barni, you are a pumbavu, like most other Kenyans according to Bw. Kibaki. What it means is that his party is so bent that it is corrugated”. In fact he used the word karuagated. It took me some time before suspecting that he refered to that fine lady Martha Karua, his Minister of Justice with some other offices, which I do not remember.

Now, I am a great admirer of Martha Karua. She is an intelligent, brave , quickwitted, attractive woman, who would make a great First Lady giving political and speech-writing support to President Kibaki on his travels to some distant conference, just to keep out of all those dreadful political upheavals at home. This should not be difficult, as one of his wives, who calls herself First Lady Lucy Kibaki, after face slapping of so many rude dignitories in the past, decided to have a rest in the State House and as a good farmer,tending her chicken and goats.

I am in fact very concerned about Miss Karua. I saw a photo of her during the Annan negotiations. She looked twice her 42 years, worn and sick. It is not worth loosing your beauty just to sit around a table and endlessly talk about agreements, the usefulness of which is obvious to everyone but you have no intention keeping to them, once they are signed. I am also concerned about that blind bishop (not sure if he is catholic) who is said to be her lover. He may not find her attractive anymore in her run down state for the state.

I also feel that Bw. Michuki and Miss Karua, being patriotic Kenyans, have a right of criticising Kenya’s colonial past. Some uninformed people maintain that when the Brits marched in, they only found bush and they left a country with a functioning uncorrupt government, roads, railway, telephone, industry, agriculture which could feed everyone and functioning civic institutions, an army, an efficient non corrupt police force, a booming tourist industry, well-run cities and towns, water and electricity supplies which worked, hospitals, schools, a skilled workforce etc. Some white beancounters even have the audicity to try to attach a price difference between their coming and going and they say that few of those colonialists or their government walked away with any wealth after they left the country. They were simply too ignorant of economics, inflation etc.

I think it is fair to give them a mouthful. However they left almost a half a century ago and most of our young people blame them from imperfect knowledge. To be fair, logical and pc, we should find a more general and uptodate scapegoat. We should also be diplomatic as if we upset them, they may club up with other white people against us and we may find that the billions of foreign aid which we expect and could be usefully used for buying overseas property, when given to our government, will dry up. In spite of being right, we need to be diplomatic. I suggest that when we make a complete screw-up of something, we should say “It was the hand of the enemy” and that could be anybody, but we can still justify our actions in the eyes of the wananchi.

The other day on the radio one of the opposition’s spokesman said that the Right.Hon. Kibaki cannot be trusted as he does not keep his word. This is the type of people whom you find among the opposition: totally illogical. How can you be related to “right and honour” by title and accused of not keeping your word.

We should uphold our traditional African values of respecting age. We must not keep blaming a sick old man. The Right Hon. Kibaki is 77, his health and faculties are failing, his punishment is meted out to him at home every day. Let us be generous and forgiving, he probably has not much time left. Let it be in the next world, where he has to pay the ultimate farthing, if by chance, he has done something wrong in this one.

How Kibaki Rigged 1969 Parliamentary Elections In The Same Way
…As Gitobu Imanyara emerges to sue serial slapping first lady for recent attack at State House

Jael Mbogo was a parliamentary candidate in Nairobi’s then Bahati constituency in 1969 and she recently explained to a British newspaper in great detail how she was rigged out of that parliamentary seat.

The amazing thing is that the manner in which it was done bears striking resemblance top how the presidential elections was rigged late last year plunging the country in chaos. And guess who the candidate she was standing against was? Yep, one Emilio Stanley Mwai Kibaki.

Much as I am a great admirer of Tom Mboya, one of the big mistakes he made was to drive all the way to Makerere University from Nairobi in his VW Beetle to fetch one Mwai Kibaki, then an economics lecturer at that university to become Kanu’s first executive officer. Kibaki learnt a lot of his politics from Tom Mboya but by the time the 1969 general elections were held, Mboya was dead, assassinated by Kibaki’s inner circle and his close friend Kibaki was carrying on life as if nothing had happened.

But it seems that the voters knew about this betrayal and firmly voted against Kibaki. Mbogo told the Obserever that she was so far ahead in the early vote tallying that the BBC went ahead and announced that a young woman had defeated a government minister for the Bahati seat. It was not to be. In circumstances that are remarkably similar to what happened in December, the results for Bahati were delayed for several days as GSU officers surrounded the vote counting centre. When those results were finally announced, Mwai Kibaki had won by a razor-thin margin.

Jael Mbogo who is now a civil rights activist told the Observer; ‘Kibaki stalled the result, and then robbed me of victory. Because he looks so holy, people are still asking if he really was capable of stealing this election. What I say is “Of course, he has done it before”.

Read the Observer story here
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/world/story/0,,2251523,00.html

Meanwhile Gitobu Imanyara emerged yesterday after days in hiding to announce to the Kenyan press that he was suing serial slapper Lucy Kibaki for attacking him at State House. Imanyara who is now also a member of parliament, says that because of Mrs Kibaki’s short stature her “slaps and blows” did not reach the tall legislator. Interestingly at one point rumors had it that Imanyara had been injured very badly from the incident that he had been hospitalized. One sensational version even said that he had died.

Imanyara also says that he had decided not to take any action because former president Mwai Kibaki called him and apologized over the incident.

Imanyara told the attentive journalists that the reason why the First Lady was so upset was because he was handling the case of the KTN journalist whom the First Lady assaulted in 2006.

“Nobody takes the first lady to court and nobody gets away with it,” Mrs Kibaki is said to have screamed at Imanyara.

Imanyara says that the first lady was indecently dressed when she attacked him. He did not give clear details as to what exactly he meant.
posted by chris at 9:54 PM 52 comments
Kibaki Team Now Clones Kumekucha Site As Long List Of Dirty Tricks Continue
If people can steal a presidential election without caring about the consequences, what else will they NOT do?

For a long time now, there have been several attempts to hack into the Kumekucha site. By the grace of God all have failed. Now supporters of Mwai Kibaki have gone and cloned the Kumekucha site, producing an almost exact replica of this site which will easily fool many Kenyans into believing that the contents there have been penned by the real Kumekucha.

It is now very easy to see the counter propaganda being peddled by Mwai Kibaki supporters. The latest is the ridiculous and insensitive story that ODM are killing their own MPs. Interestingly the site’s address is almost similar to Kumekucha’s except that there is an “s” at the end. The site has even already been indexed by Google.

View the site here;

http:kumekuchas.blogspot.com

The thinking that went behind this dirty trick is the same that rules Kenya today. For instance despite the killings continuing unabated, the hurriedly sworn in and constituted “government” has said that the country does not need a peace keeping force. Yet it is crystal clear that the police are overwhelmed and divided along tribal lines. Even our disciplined military are very suspect.

Still whether opposition leader Raila Odinga has appealed for foreign peacekeeping troops from either the UN or AU. Looking at the volatile situation the country is in and the continued dirty tricks being planned by some Kibaki supporters, it will be difficult for Kenya to avoid foreign peace keepers in the country. Let us wait and see, shall we?
posted by chris at 9:48 PM 32 comments
Truth and Reconciliation With Justice

Kofi Annan appear to have his hands on Kenya’s pulse by aptly recommending a truth and reconciliation commission. That is an idea which is long overdue given our history of MISRULE. But to spoil the party comes the honest and brutal question: can Kibaki walk the talk given this history? Only time will tell but I must hasten to add that you don’t have to be a genius nor a sooth sayer to see where we are headed -deadlock.

Annan may be through with the easy part. His cleverly crafted his peace agenda by prioritizing on less controversial issues first. Coming to agreement on sorting out the violence and finding a satisfactory humanitarian response to tens of thousands of maimed and displaced Kenyans is the easy part.

The crux of the matter lies in the next tackling the POLITICAL DIMENSION to the crisis. And that will definitely mark the point of departures among the hitherto agreeing negotiators from both camps. The naked and unpleasant truth is that Kibaki is simply buying time and fooling the world with motions bereft of no meaningful movement politically or otherwise.

Let us be REAL for once and accept the bitter truth that nobody risks his/her reputation by sacrificing hundreds of lives only to STEAL an election and give the voters back their rights. More so if the thief holds the monopoly of force. Add this to the tribal cabal waiting in the wings for any trace of opportunity to strike Kenya
dead so as to scavenge on the resulting carcass disguised as INDUSTRY.

Well planned electoral theft
Make no mistake, the ELECTORAL THEFT didn’t just happen. Kibaki knew what was awaiting him by close of polling stations on December 27, 2007. He had all the time since referendum to plan with the help of supremacists and old hands from previous regimes. The NSIS had all the facts and the campaigns were just decoys like the 6% economic growth to pull wool over our eyes as the RAPISTS schemed for the ultimate attack on our rights.

The non verbal language and the speeches from Kibaki give him away. His colonial model of RULERSHIP can fly but he has his fingers on both the trigger and extinguisher. You know as well as I do which option he prefers to hold dear. ti Kibaki’s government is open to anything that FALLS WITHIN KENYA’S CONSTITUTIONAL AND LEGAL FRAMEWORK. What a refreshing and innovative yet obstructive conditions? Lies and deception have never come so beutifully painted.

Kibaki is doing very well by exporting his brand of deception. He must have felt sweet telling other leaders in Ethiopia that he believes he won the election fairly and all the trouble since the election has been stirred up by the opposition. Nobody has ever collectively abused his audience with such balderdash knowing who wields the guns and power.

Poor Annan
I don’t envy Bw Annan any inch. He may be having all his heart in the process but I am also very certain he cannot reconcile his efforts to the reality staring him in the eye. Heavy international pressure yes, but not for how long with Chad smouldering already up north. Already Annan has ruled election re-run out of the equation. Kofi fears conducting a re-election will results in more violence. Furthermore, there is no guarantee that either side would accept the outcome of a second presidential poll. The former UN boss is already neck-deep in this murk.

There is no manual to contain a national uprising. Kibaki never saw it coming and he will resort to any CRUDE TOOLS (including Mungiki of course) he can lay his hands on to maintain the status quo. Call me a pessimist if you please but Kenya’s problem lie squarely on her weak deep-seated institutional foundation. Kibaki and his cronies don’t have what it takes to shape Kenya.

Either way Kibaki is not baking his cake and feasting on it. The die is cast and Kenyans are out in both flesh and blood to reclaim their birth right. Kibaki’s apologists can fly their sectarian kite all the much they want oblivious of the fact that the leash has snapped and the phantom remains rudderless in the sky. We value our backs too, no more ridding on them. Politico-economic justice no less.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
The Curse of Military Rule

President Paul Kagame of Rwanda made a startling suggestion in prescribing military rule for Kenya. Even journalists covering him were left with their jaws agape wondering what a heap of poison the ‘youthful’ Kagame was prescribing to Kenyans.

Nothing could be further from the truth. The era of military rule midwifing democracy from a political fallout or dictatorship belongs to the last Century. True, desperate moments calls for desperate measures but tasking the Kenya army with leadership is to unwittingly invite full blown anarchy on our shores.

Our military is a product of political manipulations. The Kenyan men (and women) in the barracks simply lack the intellectual capacity to govern. They have no minds of their own and woe unto you in the army if any trace of independence betrays your thinking. Our military officers owe their positions to their political masters. They are nothing better than political sycophants albeit in uniform.

Kenya is no Rwanda. While Rwanda has only two tribes (Hutus and Tutsis), Kenya a kaleidoscope of ethnic competition that only requires the faintest spark to explode. Both Kenyatta and Moi packed the forces with their military cheerleaders. In the last five years Kibaki has no disappointed by promptly but systematically replacing the military top brass by his henchmen and compliant soldiers.

Competing ethnic interest makes our military a very risky business to premise our country’s salvation. The barracks are not spared Kenya’s tribal tensions. Paranoia is the stock in trade in the barracks where any intellectual challenge is promptly nipped in the bud.

Kibaki’s trip to Ethiopia was singularly purposed to pass a latent message of no vulnerability to military putsch. Even if the Kalenjins and Kambas still constitute a significant proportion of foot soldiers, Kibaki is safe and at peace in the knowledge that military top guns owes him their positions.

Kagame may have meant well for Kenya and her people. But his suggestions is a POISONED CHALICE particularly for Kenya. His idea can be contrasted to our old generation suffering about of nostalgia in which they uncritically and shamelessly claim to miss colonialism. Granted, the colonialists were ‘humane’ and intellectual in their brutality compared to our present day indigenous colonialists.

Lethal precedent
Allowing the military to take over Kenya will set a very costly and deadly precedent. In addition to disenfranchising Kenyan voters forever, it will trash all our democratic credentials and history. And worst or it will be a perpetuation of the present day slavery to HELL-FOR-LEATHER rulership and absolutely no leadership. Two wrongs never made a right.

The lives of those Kenyans lost in the present war against ELECTORAL THEFT and DECEPTION must not be trivialized neither abused by succumbing to rule by the barrel of the gun. If in doubt just cast your eyes up north and the scenes from the streets of Djamena in Chad are not pleasant, or are they? The bottom line is power not only corrupts but it is also intoxicating.

Kenya is crying for politico-economic justice which the military CANNOT deliver. It is therefore not only suicidal but also reckless and STUPID to entrust such an audacious quest to gun wielders while still smarting from fractures and amputations from machetes. We cannot afford to engage is:- [a]

Kenya Crisis: A Very Attractive Military Solution
Why US Warnings and French Appeal To Security Council Could Signal An External Solution… Maybe Even Of The Military Kind

President Paul Kagame’s idea that Kenya should turn to the military for a solution was received with silent shock by most Kenyans. Still there is no denying that President Kagame as young as he is knows a thing or two about stopping genocide dead on its’ tracks. Somebody has to stop the killings, in Kenya… PLEASE (See photo below of woman who was killed in her house in Nakuru in the presence of her wailing son)

Photo courtesy of pandashuka.wordpress.com

In fact Kagame has gone beyond that and is now firmly at the helm of a country that many see as the most progressive in the region despite having gone through the worst ethnic cleansing recorded in history.

A closer look at what the President of Rwanda was saying reveals plenty of wisdom. He said (in front of journalists who had mostly dropped their jaws in shock) that when institutions fail, then bringing in the military to restore order makes plenty of sense.

If we are brutally honest with ourselves, the truth is that we currently do not have any leaders in the country and our institutions are literally dead in the water. What we have are plenty of selfish politicians on both sides of the political divide who are only hungry for power at whatever cost. To our current political class human life is absolutely worthless. I beg you fellow Kenyans to forget your political affiliations for a moment and even if you are paid to make your political party look good remember that at the rate we are going, your (blood money) will not help you much in the rapidly emerging new balkanized Kenya where human life, even that of toddlers who don’t know their tribe yet is not worth 2 cents.

Ladies and gentlemen let us sober up for a few minutes and take a very sober look at our country.

Both Baba Jimmy and Baba Castro have let down Kenyans badly. These two gentlemen both have blood on their hands. Patience please so that I can explain myself.

Baba Jimmy went ahead and did what he did with the presidential elections on live TV and in full view of the world. And to make matters even more sickening he went to great lengths to prepare the security forces to quickly quell down any rebellion. The most dangerous thing that can happen to a country is when very intelligent people who happen to be political idiots are in power. Baba Jimmy’s team of very intelligent persons who have clearly shown how politically naive they can be, came up with the reasoning that people will usually quickly cool down when faced with the threat of death. So the idea was to shoot rioters and swiftly scare them into submission.

What a terrible miscalculation these otherwise intelligent guys made They did not realize that the lives of a substantial number of Kenyans are so miserable that death under certain circumstances can even seem attractive. The rest is history.

Actually the latest is that Baba Jimmy while in Ethiopia has bluntly blamed the opposition for instigating post election violence when the whole world knows who started the fire. This is a clear demonstration by Baba Jimmy that the Annan talks mean nothing to him. After all he left the country (as the duly elected president who cannot solve the crisis in his own country) to go to the AU summit to help solve the problems of other African countries like Sudan and Somalia. What a big joke.

But Baba Castro is not innocent either. Yes, the election was stolen from him. Yes, it must have been terrible when he had already started “smelling” the sweet aroma of the lawns of State House. But he missed a golden opportunity to go down in history for courage and maybe he would even have won occupancy of State house in the process. What he should have done is tell the people of Kenya that he valued human life more than his ambitions and as a result he should have stepped down from his “protest” to save human life. He would then have resumed his fight for justice in a non-violent manner after things cooled down. Heard of a guy called Mahatma Gandhi? He proved that peaceful protest can be much more effective than powerful guns and the then mighty British empire.

What Baba Castro and many ODM supporters do not realize yet is that if he was to take over as the president of this country, there is a high possibility that we may end up in a much worse crisis than we have at the moment.

The truth is that many Kikuyus are being held back by the fact that Baba Jimmy is still president. If he is replaced by a person that most of them don’t trust, then chances are that they will go ballistic.

The neat solution is to divide the country into the Republic of Mount Kenya (to be ruled by Baba Jimmy) and the Republic of 6 and half provinces to be ruled by Baba Castro. However since the majority of Kenyans seem to be against this solution, then Baba Castro will never be president of the country called Kenya. Very sad because I personally believe that he was robbed of a clear victory, but that’s life. Surely Kenya is bigger than Baba Castro and his ambitions.

Which brings me to the military solution that can save Kenyan lives and bring us all to the new political dispensation that we all so eagerly desire.

The Kenya army should be invited to take over and then ALL members of the 10th parliament should be placed under house arrest. The Kenya army should then invite International forces sanctioned by the UN to help them restore order and sanity in the country. The country will then be ruled by a neutral military council or committee whose task will be to stop the killings, restore order and prepare the country for a new general elections in the next one year or so where all those who have held public office before, including those in the 10th parliament will be barred from running. The military will also oversee strict rules for the elections where candidates using any form of ethnicity will be promptly barred from running. Note that in this kind of arrangement whoever wins the presidency will have to be acceptable to a sizeable number of people on both sides of the political divide, meaning that such elections can play a very important role in healing the country.

This may not be a very far fetched eventuality considering the fact that the United States has already warned about implementing an external solution while the French have appealed directly to the UN Security Council to intervene in the Kenyan situation. Not to mention the fact that a UK Minister has called for the deployment of the Kenya Army to bring back order. Read between the lines, folks.

P.S. President Kibaki’s statement in Ethiopia blaming the opposition for instigating the post election violence is extremely reckless when you consider that events of the recent past have clearly showed us that violence tends to escalate during weekends. It happened in Nakuru and it happened again in Naivasha.

P.S. 2: Wild But Persistent Rumours that we are unable to confirm at the moment…
That Lucy Kibaki injured Jimmy Kibaki in an incident in State House after the latter suggested that his dad should step down.

That Gitobu Imanyara is in critical condition from injuries sustained from beatings by security agents after he hit back at first lady shortly after receiving one of those famous slaps.

What we have confirmed…
The First lady is currently under “lock and key.” Impeccable sources told Kumekucha this evening that nobody is taking any more chances with her. But the same sources have refused to confirm or deny whether anything happened to justify the “lock and key policy”.
posted by chris at 12:21 PM 57 comments
Thank You For The Kind Words Folks
I have sincerely been overwhelmed by the flood of kind words from all you good people out there who are responsible for the one million plus hits (and rapidly climbing) that this blog achieved yesterday.

My ribs are aching from the hilarious comments about Form 16A’s and Kivuitu announcements.

To be sincere, I was completely taken by surprise by the way in which the congratulations poured in. As you can imagine this is a lonely and thankless job where encouragement is rare.

Let me take this opportunity to thank the other main bloggers who have contributed immensely to the success of Kumekucha like Taabu, Phil, Luke, Ritch, Sue, Sayra, Kalamari, Proud Kikuyu Woman, Danlieve, Karol, Derek and even the missing in action, Vikii (I hope I haven’t left out anybody). Thank you so much my brothers and sisters. I would never have done it alone.

To be sincere, without these folks, readers would have had to suffer the dictatorship of my ideas and biases. But these guys are such an effective “check and balance” on my “presidential powers”. I want to encourage them by telling them that the service they have rendered to our beloved (albeit currently burning) motherland is more than they will ever realize.

Somebody has asked whether I ever imagined getting one million hits. To be honest, although I am extremely ambitious, I never dreamt that it would come this quickly. Once again, a big thank you to all you guys out there who made it possible.

————————————————————————————————————————2

Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2008 11:36:41 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Fwd: HOW KENYS ELECTION RIGGING LEAD TO VIOLENCE
To: USUNPublicAffairs@state.gov

Sat, 2 Feb 2008 07:39:03 -0800 (PST)

DISHONEST DIPLOMATS

Ambassador Ranneberger should be sacked because he is dishonestly supporting Mwai Kinbaki’s theft of the 27th December 2007 presidential elections against all facts in disfavour of Raila Amolo Odinga. He is biased so Kenyans have lost faith in him absolutely. Leaving him on the post undermines Kenya’s, Africa’s and the world’s trust in the democracy that President BUSH is preaching.

He is saying nothing about the Kibaki organised police killings in Rift Valley, Nyanza and Western Kenya, not to mention Nairobi. He is more concerned with the evictions of Kikuyus from ‘’their land”, the land which Jomo Kenyatta fraudulently gave them in disfavour of the true owners.

According to this ambassador ethnic cleansing only takes place when Kikuyus are killed and evictions are only taking place when Kikuyus are evicted. We do not want this biased and dishonest ambassador in our country. Is this dishonourable ambassador Ranneberger having anything to do with Goldengurg since both names are Jewish!?

Jendayi Frazer should be sacked too because she has been compromised by the fact that Kenyans recently saw her with the corrupt Mungiki Kikuyu, John Chris Kirubi; sitting at the same table in the AL JAZEERA NEWS screen!! John Chris Kirubi is not a member of the government unless he is secretly. What was Jendayi Frazer doing with this Mungiki Kikuyu? John Chris Kirubi together with Njenga Karume, John Michuki, Uhuru Kenyatta, among others, is backrolling the Mungiki ‘killer police’ which recently burnt to death Luos, Luhyas and Kalenjins at both Nakuru and Naivasha towns. Both her and the ambassador have never called such crimes ethnic cleansing despite the fact that Kibaki’s police soldiers were seen on TV screen handling the said Mungiki killers with baby’s gloves soon after burning to death the innocent people said above!!

Neither of them have gone to Nyanza and Western provinces to see for themselves how Kibaki’s police have been butchering people including children, and yet they have openly taken sides with this votes thief!

We appeal to President George Bush to show Kenya a human face and defend democracy openly by sacking these compromised diplomats.

With their dishonesty they have misled the international press which is very biased against Raila Amolo Odinga. They are talking about power sharing, something that they could never propose to their own people back home in the US after an obvious votes theft.

We do not want Ambassador Ranneberger because he is vehemently opposed to a presidential election re-run! What is he hiding from democracy?

– DR. ODIDA OKUTHE

Note: forwarded message attached.

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3

Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2008 08:12:11 -0800 (PST)

Subject: HOW KENYS ELECTION RIGGING LEAD TO VIOLENCE
To: USUNPublicAffairs@state.gov

Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:33:09 -0500
From: George

How Kenya’s election was rigged

Posted on Thu, Jan. 31, 2008
Shashank Bengali | McClatchy Newspapers

last updated: January 30, 2008 07:48:22 PM

NAIROBI, Kenya — The spark for Kenya’s firestorm of ethnic violence was lit inside a cavernous meeting hall in downtown Nairobi, where election officials over four days doctored vote counts, dismissed eye-popping irregularities and thwarted monitoring by independent observers to deliver a razor-thin victory to President Mwai Kibaki.

Observers who were allowed into the vote-tallying center on Dec. 29-30, hours before the results were announced, said there was so much systematic fraud by Kenya’s government-appointed election commission that it’s impossible to know who really won.

The extent of the commission’s deceptions has faded into the background as more than 800 Kenyans have been killed in ethnic clashes and police crackdowns. The events also have deeply unsettled the Bush administration, which has relied on Kenya as an ally in the war on terror and a bulwark of stability in East Africa.

Official results gave Kibaki an edge of 231,728 votes, or 2 percent, out of about 10 million cast. Initial results of an exit poll by the U.S.-funded International Republican Institute found that rival Raila Odinga had won by an 8 percent margin.

Election officials allowed five accredited Kenyan observers into the tallying center in Nairobi only in the final phase of vote-counting, and three of them shared their accounts with McClatchy. All said that the gravest cheating occurred in that room, where commissioners — all appointed by Kibaki — compiled returns before announcing them to the public.

The observers spoke in interviews and quoted from a joint log of their experiences, titled “Countdown to Deception,” which Kenyan rights groups are circulating.

The long-serving chairman of Kenya’s election commission played an active role in the deception, the observers said. When a tallying officer presented results showing voter turnout at 115 percent in Maragua, a Kibaki stronghold in the central highlands, commission Chairman Samuel Kivuitu didn’t invalidate the result as required by law, but allowed a commissioner to reduce the figure to 85 percent and announced the results an hour later.

That was the pattern that observers reported: Results were announced even when documents were missing, incomplete, unsigned by officers or party representatives, incorrectly tabulated, photocopied or forged.

“Both sides stole votes,” said Julius Melli, a 31-year-old Kenyan radiographer who witnessed the tallying of Maragua and other locales. “But Kibaki stole more, and they stole it inside the tallying center.”

The Electoral Commission of Kenya, an independent body whose members are appointed by the president, had run national elections in 2002 and 2005 that were praised for their openness and accuracy.

But except for Kivuitu, who’d served as chairman since 1997, this was a largely different commission. As members faced term limits in the months before the vote, Kibaki — facing the stiffest presidential challenge ever in Kenya — packed the 22-person body with 17 new commissioners. All were considered Kibaki allies, and none had ever run an election.

“These people were criminals,” said Ben Sihanya, a Stanford-educated constitutional law professor who also observed the tallying. “They were committing crimes at the behest of Kibaki’s government.”

Election officials were unreachable for comment, but the commission has taken out a two-page, unsigned advertisement in Kenyan newspapers to deny wrongdoing.

Koki Muli, the co-chair of the Kenya Domestic Observers Forum, suspected problems soon after the polls closed on the evening of Dec. 27. Her network of observers monitoring the vote-counting in polling stations immediately began sending preliminary results by phone and text messages. But for two days, in the Nairobi convention hall where the election commission had set up shop — surrounded by hundreds of journalists, observers and party agents — Kivuitu announced only some of the returns.

Observers grew suspicious when results from Kibaki’s central Kenya stronghold weren’t read. The delays were sparking protests. “It was necessary for us to observe the tallying,” Muli said.

For 48 hours, armed agents barred observers from entering the tallying center, a high-ceilinged room almost the size of a football field. Finally, faced with mounting reports of irregularities, Kivuitu allowed five observers and a handful of political party representatives into the room on the night of Dec. 29. They were greeted with nervous stares.

“What I saw in that room alarmed me,” Muli said. “It was a very scared staff.”

Commissioners and staff members were seated around a dozen or so long tables, each strewn with folders containing the legal forms required to certify vote counts. In one corner of the room, a bank of computers churned out results and printouts.

The lanky, bespectacled Sihanya walked up to a table and introduced himself to commissioner Mildred Owour. “Can we sit at your table?” he asked.

“You are going to slow down the process,” she replied.

At about 10 p.m., Sihanya, Melli and two other observers sat down with agents of the main political parties and several commissioners and election officials. Their task was to scrutinize irregularities reported by Odinga’s camp — and there were many.

In at least 44 out of 210 constituencies, officials in Nairobi had announced vote totals without any supporting documents from the polling centers. In most places the announced totals were off by hundreds or thousands from what journalists, party agents and foreign observers had witnessed at polling places.

The team prepared to work through the night. When commission staff members brought a stack of folders, observers asked to check whether vote totals had been added correctly.

The commission’s legal officer, Jemimah Kelli, rebuffed them.

“She said, ‘We can’t correct the tallying now. The commission will take care of it,’” Sihanya recalled.

At another table, Muli was scratching her head over results from Mathira, in central Kenya, where nearly everyone voted for Kibaki. Election officers had failed to sign the tallies from nearly three dozen polling places, and one form had two different totals. Muli took out her cell phone and began adding up the numbers.

She calculated 77,442 votes for Kibaki, some 2,600 fewer than what was recorded on the final tally sheet and announced to the public. Later she discovered inflated vote totals for Kibaki in several other areas — “3,000 here, 3,000 there, 1,500 here, 2,500 there,” she said. “It added up.”

At his table, Melli saw numerous constituencies that lacked tally sheets or official signatures, but whose results had been certified anyway. In one folder, he found two tallies for the same place — one a signed original, the other an unsigned photocopy that had been altered to give Kibaki about 3,000 more votes.

The photocopied version had been used.

“It looked very ridiculous,” Melli said. But Kenyan election laws didn’t authorize observers to do anything more than note inconsistencies.

The legal officer, Kelli, moaned that officials had gone without sleep for several days, and she harassed Melli for paying too much attention to detail.

“She told Melli, ‘You seem to be very keen. Are you being paid to do this?’” Sihanya said. (They in fact were not paid.)

When Sihanya questioned inconsistencies in one Kibaki stronghold, a Kibaki party representative, Martha Karua, accused him of being an opposition agent.

“The whole thing seemed extremely stage-managed,” Melli said. “It was not a sincere verification exercise.”

As the night wore on, officials became cagier. Melli asked an official for the file from Nithi, where turnout was a suspiciously high 80 percent and nearly all the votes had gone to Kibaki. The official blanched, pulled the file close to his chest and, for the rest of the night, carried it with him everywhere he went, Melli said.

The file for Kieni in central Kenya showed 87,500 parliamentary votes — nearly 3,000 more than the number of registered voters. The file for Imenti South district, where Kibaki had 96 percent support, showed 4,315 more presidential votes than parliamentary votes but contained no supporting documents. At 5 a.m. on Dec. 30, the file for another central district, Molo, finally appeared showing 50,145 votes for Kibaki. The chairman later announced 75,261.

“They just gave Kibaki 25,000 votes from the air,” Muli said.

Finally, at around 9 a.m., Karua, the Kibaki aide, said the verification had to be halted so that the commissioners could get “back to work.” An Odinga aide said he had concerns about other files, but Karua and three election officials at the table stood up to leave.

One of the commissioners, Luciano Riunga Raiji, told the observers, “You are done.” Shortly afterward, a message blared over the loudspeaker ordering all observers and party agents to leave the room. By then, Melli said, it was clear that the commissioners had no intention of investigating the irregularities.

“We were waiting for them to announce the final results,” he said. “But we knew Kibaki had stolen it.”

Muli, who’s helped train commissioners for 14 years, said: “We didn’t imagine that the electoral commissioners could in a massive way influence the conduct of the election. We were wrong.”

The next several hours were surreal, the observers said. As word swept through the convention hall that Kibaki would be declared the winner, Odinga called a news conference and accused the commission of rigging the vote in 48 constituencies.

A few hours later, the opposition trotted out an election staffer, Kipkemoi Kirui, who said that officials were manipulating results at the tallying center. “My conscience could not allow me to see what I was seeing and keep quiet,” Kirui told reporters. He’s now fled the country, according to media reports.

An hour after that, the lights went off in the convention hall, and paramilitary police cleared the building. In a sealed room, the election chairman announced Kibaki’s victory on state television. Within minutes, rioters were tearing through the streets of Nairobi.

Kenya’s nightmare had begun.

(Special correspondent Munene Kilongi contributed.)

McClatchy Newspapers 2008